All At Once
by watch as i fall
Summary: AU. How I would’ve liked the conversation Jack and Tasha had a while ago. One shot, and has a JackTasha pairing.


**All At Once**

**Summary: **AU. How I would've liked the conversation Jack and Tasha had a while ago. One shot, and has a Jack/Tasha pairing.  
**Notes: **Lyrics from "All At Once" and "She Is" by The Fray. If you despise the Jack and Tasha pairing don't read ;) Simple! To those who do like it, or who simply aren't bothered, I hope you like :) I wrote this at 1am in the morning, so it may seem a little - I dunno... strange XD  
**Rating: **T  
**Disclaimer: **If I owned Home and Away, trust me - you'd all know about it ;) So many changes, heheheh. Unfortunately - _or _fortunately I don't .

**All At Once**

_Sometimes the hardest thing and  
__the right thing are the same_

Tasha walked slowly to the Yabbie Creek police station, collecting her thoughts on the way, she needed to prepare what she was going to say - _how_ she was going to say it, she didn't want to show up and just blurt out what she was feeling - Jack would think she was crazy. Instead she decided she needed to rehearse it all in her head, and then repeat it back to him, at least that's what she was trying to do, except none of it made much sense. It was all in one big jumble inside her head, swirling around.

She wasn't exactly sure when she'd developed feelings for her best friend's husband, maybe it was when she went into early labour and he was right by her side - he was the only one that managed to calm her down, maybe it was when she was the only who could convince him to go back to the hospital or who knows - maybe it was a long time before that.

At first she thought - she **told** herself that it was just emotional bonding. They'd both been through so much the past few weeks, and they truly understood what the other was feeling. Jack missing Martha. Her missing Robbie. No one else could've understood that. But it had been a few weeks now since everything had turned out okay, everyone had been found. And even though Robbie was by her side now, and Martha by Jack's she still couldn't get rid of this _feeling_; of still wanting to spend time with him, of still wanting to be _there_ for him. And when, eventually, things became awkward between the two of them, that's when she _knew_.

Her feelings were real.

_Maybe you want her  
__Maybe you need her_

Jack was supposed to be concentrating on the paperwork in front of him, it was piled up a mile high, and his senior constable had made it quite clear that he wasn't going anywhere until it was all done, but he wasn't thinking about the paperwork, or his job, or even his wife for that matter. He could not get a certain quirky blonde out of his mind, she had pre-occupied it for hours now and she just wouldn't leave. He had even tried doing some paperwork for the arson attempt at the school, a case he was surprised he was put on, but that still couldn't get her off his mind.

He knew he shouldn't be thinking like this, _he_ had a _wife_, who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, who he loved. A voice filled with doubt entered his head, and questioned with a painful '_do you really_?' Of course he did, another voice answered back, filled with reassurance. '_REALLY!?' _the doubtful voice was getting stronger.

Tasha was the only one who understood what he was going through whilst Martha, and the others were lost in the bush, they had bonded so much over those couple of weeks, and that wasn't something that you could just forget and dismiss so easily, he was really hoping that's all these thoughts were for - because of the connection they had, _that was all_. '_Sure it is_' the voice in his head stronger than ever.

Sighing, and extremely frustrated with himself, he leant back in his chair. Great, know he was going crazy - _she_ was making him crazy.

Crazy about her.

_This is going to break me clean in two  
__This is going to bring me close to you_

Tasha looked up and realized that she was already in front of the door to the police station, she took a few breaths (still having no idea what she was going to say) and opened the door slowly, and made her way in, looking at the ground the whole time. She walked over to the counter and spoke quietly, her voice shaking.

The police officer at the counter responded something to her, but she wasn't really listening, she was just looking around still trying to work out what she was going to say.

"I'll let him know you're here."

Tasha snapped out of her thoughts and gave a quick smile, her way of saying thanks. A few moments later the door to a office was open and he stood there. She looked up quickly, and there eyes locked, he looked just as confused as she did, and that kind of made her feel relieved. Finally finding her voice, which was shaky, she managed to stutter a quick, "Can we talk somewhere?"

He nodded in response.

She walked into the office with him and leant against a cupboard, she didn't know _what_ to say, never alone _how_ to say it, she closed her eyes, and then suddenly just blurted out with thinking, "I have feelings for you."

Realizing what she'd done after she saw his unreadable expression, she put her hand to her mouth and gasped, _oh god_. He'd never want to see her again - he'd hate her, think she was crazy. But instead of yelling at her, telling her to get out, he walked over to her, so there were a few steps apart, confused she looked up. _Needing_ to know what he was going to say.

"So... do I." He finally spoke, swallowing hard.

Confusion on her face, she looked at him, a million thoughts going through her head. "You... _what_?"

He sighed and turned around, walking back to his desk, eventually turning back to face her. "I have feelings for you too."

"Oh."

_Oh_? Was that the best that she had to offer. She hadn't expected him to return the feelings she felt, instead she expected him to say that what they were feeling was just a connection, that it was nothing to worry about and they'd be great friends again. She had never expected this in a million years. "Do you... think it's just a - a connection?" she asked quietly looking down.

"Honestly?" he asked, "I don't know."

"That's what I keep trying to tell myself," she replied, finally looking up, blue eyes locking with brown. "But these feelings... they just feel **so** strong. And then I feel really guilty, because of Robbie..."

"I know," he said. "I feel the exact same way with Martha."

Funnily enough she smiled. "I guess were doing the whole connection thing again..."

He gave a small laugh, "Yeah..."

"I think that's all it was," she said suddenly. "I mean we've depended on each other so much for those few weeks, we were bound to develop some sort of feelings towards each other... But I _think_... now that we've c-confronted each other, that they'll resolve themselves..."

"Yeah - you're right..." he answered quickly, and she couldn't help but wonder if she heard disappointment in his voice.

"Right then," she said kind of awkwardly. "Erm, friends?"

He nodded. "Friends."

_She is everything I need that I never knew I wanted  
__She is everything I want that I never knew I needed_

He saw her extend her hand, but instead of taking it in his, and shaking it, he pulled her quickly into a hug, wrapping his arms around her protectively, pulling her into him. He thought she would've pulled away after a few seconds, but she wasn't. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment a lot more than he should've. After all it was supposed to just be a 'friendly hug'.

Finally she did pull away, and she smiled. Her normal '_things will be okay_' smile, that he loved seeing, and instead of letting her walk out that door like he should have - he kissed her.

It was rather quick and awkward. He grabbed her arm just before she reached the door, and leant down, towards her, until he could feel her breath on his lips, and grazing the side of her face with his hand, he bought her face up the rest of the way so her lips met his. Even though the kiss lasted a few seconds, the electricity that he felt was indescribable.

He took a few steps back, to give her space, to see what her reaction was, extremely worried.

"I.." she started to say, but then stopped abruptly.

"Tasha," he said breezily, not taking his eyes off her. "I'm.. sorry."

He noticed the tears in her eyes, and automatically wished he could turn back time and change what he did.

"I didn't want to stop," she said quietly, speaking to the ground.

"What?" he asked quickly.

"I didn't want to stop kissing you."

A huge bag of mixed emotions hit him, ranging from happiness to guilt. "Neither did I."

"What are we going to do?" she asked through her tears. "These feelings are more than just a connection... oh god. What about Robbie and Martha? What are we going to tell them."

He pulled her close, and let her cry on his shoulder, he didn't know what else to do - say. He knew what she was saying was true, these feelings were so real, but how the hell was he supposed to tell his wife that he had fallen in love with her best friend? He loved Martha, he always would, but these feelings for Tasha were just so strong and full of so much hard, real emotion.

"Jack," she said pulling away, tears still sliding down her cheeks. "What are we going to do."

"I... don't know Tash," he answered honestly. "We'll work something out... We always do" He pulled her close to him once more, and kissed the top of her head softly.

"I want to believe that," she finally responded. "But I just... I can't..."

"Trust me Tash," he said, his voice full of conviction. "We'll get through this."

She finally responded with a soft, "I hope so, I really do."

_This is going to bring me to my knees  
__I just want to hold you close to me_

They both looked at each other, mixed emotions running through them, and they both knew this was so wrong, and that nothing would ever be the same again, for either of them - _for everyone_. It was going to be one of the most difficult times of their lives. And what they were going to tell Robbie and Martha? Well they didn't know about that either, but what they did know was that they truly cared about each other. And that was all that was important at this stage, they'd worry about the rest later. Of course they were going to be honest with Martha and Robbie, they weren't going to lie - or cheat, they'd be completely upfront.

As they kissed once more, a lot more less awkward this time, his hands on her waist, hers placed around his neck, pulled in close. They realized that sometimes the wrong thing, really is the right. And all the wanted - _needed_ - was each other.

**Author's Note: **Gah. I'm sorry about the ending. I_** can never**_ seem to end fics any good... You all know how much I hate my work, but still I'd love to hear what you all thought! I'm also working an a huge, multi chaptered fic (it's 43,000 words so far), but it's a Drew/OC … and I know a lot of people don't like OC stories - especially since I tend to base the OC on myself. So I don't think I'll post that, I mainly wrote it just to practise my techniques & to see if I could _actually_ write a chaptered fic … so the next thing you'll see from me will probably be a Matilda/Cassie/Ric love-triangle fic.


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